| well today, i'm in my room, finishing up some hw, and then i thought, what do i do if my life falls apart? i can't just start crying in the middle of class anymore, no one would get it. i can't just tell someone what's going on, i dont' trust these people. then I thought, what about spellie? i don't see her anymore do i? and then I was like, how is this happening!?! she's leaving as it is, and I'm not going to see her anymore!!!!!??? then I thought, what happens if my life falls apart and i need someone to talk to, she won't be there, period. which upsets me, i don't really trust anyone other than her. I mean, don't get me wrong, anyone that's reading this, I probably trust you and luv u as a friend, but ellie and i have this special "bond" she's part of my family. and I've tried to build trust with other ppl, i lost a whole lunch table of friends and i'm only beginning to get that back. and so now, what do i do? i have nowhere to turn right now. for those of us that either heard or saw this, remember when I suddenly just started crying in science? what if that happens again... i can't have that happen, i just don't trust these ppl enough, it would make no sense. and when ellie leaves, i'll have no one. no one. no one.
ellie if you read this, i luv you to death. you are the only person that i can trust. you were always there if my life fell apart or if i just wanted someone to talk to. I hope i can always be there for you.
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